First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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