The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
