I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
