My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
