But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize