just tell him i said nine months
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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