it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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