She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
