Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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(404): View more from Georgia

No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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(734): View more from Michigan

How was the bike ride?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.

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(347): View more from New York

It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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(858): View more from California

2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.

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