I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
