Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
