I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If I die, sorry about rent.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
