i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
