I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
