I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
