mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
