Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Rumble strips road head = magical
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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