some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Girls should come with a carfax report
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
