i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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