I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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