i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
