textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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