I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
