Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
