I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
