Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize