I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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