Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
