if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
