Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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