Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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