kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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