I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
