went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
