girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
