i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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