so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
