I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
