Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize