Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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