My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
