Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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