Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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