I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
how do flat chested girls get laid?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
