I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
