"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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