Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
