hotel room ftw
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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