why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
