That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize