I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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