omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
