Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Green mimosas i think yes
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
