so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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