She's JV to your varsity
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize