it wasn't lemon gatorade
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
