i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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