There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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