NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
