Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
