Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
