So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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