Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Non-Jews are for practice
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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