awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Mom said you looked used
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
