I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is my gift to your gina
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
